To a Nathan that will never read this, one that might, and another that always will.
Today I found a place. Harmony Hill. I’d had a conversation with a Nathan today that made the past swirl into focus. This time a year ago, chaos prevailed in copious amounts, not to mention the exasperating coefficient of drama, leading to a limiting reagent of sanity. Turmoil in my heart, battles in my mind, longing in my soul. A period in my mortal life I’ll never forget. Granted it’s nothing I bear in mind on a daily basis. The present is too promising to dwell on such things.
As this Nathan assumed my vague statements were referring to the past, I found it so ironic that I was talking about the night before. I have one friend that just last week wrote a drama about dreams and how the event being dreamt is happening elsewhere. This Nathan told me I kept him up the night before. (I had not talked to him or made contact of any means.) That night before, I had been reconciling the recent chaos that had not failed to splatter itself across my path. This chaos a fermentation of the other Nathan. It is so crazy how closely the events to culminate such climatic emotions closely correspond.
Another thing that hit me hard today, perspective. As much as C-4 and Rosene joke about their alternate realities, it too true. We too often formulate a view that in no way parallels to another. I don’t think it is that the differences are incorrect, but are more so the effect of peering at life through an entirely different lens. An individual unconsciously brought to my attention the depth of “just pretending.” An alternate reality we choose to consciously create while our daily lives consist of those that contrastingly seem more feasible and their culmination is often unknown to us at the time, or ever.
Perspective, some choose to forget, some choose to remember, some choose to create their own.
Contrast of the Nathans.
3 comments:
wow
Driving down Green Street today, chatting with a friend, I caught myself slipping into an alternate reality. I'm trying to remember the exact words and what I believe I said was, "We have hung out more than they have this semester." I was dazed and coming to my senses realized exactly what I had said. Using two different pronouns, "we" and "they" I refered to her as two seperate people. "We" is the Sunday through Thursday Joy; my companion, my distraction, my friend. "They" is the weekend Joy, the one I hear stories about. On the occasion that I see this girl, she doesn't recognize me and it breaks my heart.
A friend once told me that we weren't sharing girl-friends. Tf only it had been that way...
To "we": Thanks for giving me a reason. Thanks for all the sweetness. I'm for sorry for the chaos. We're gonna be alright.
To "they": I'm sorry. I know that means very little now, but it's all I have. The future is brighter.
Hey I almost sound like a smart person with my reality-slipping perspective-altering stances in your post. That makes me soo happy...
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